I was thinking earlier about how emotionally insulated people are. Neil Gaiman reminded me that insulated means, literally, to be made an island. Think about that. It's been said that no man is an island, when in fact, we are all islands unto ourselves, and perhaps that is the common ground that unites us. You can never truly know the mind or heart of another person. We are only equipped to shoulder the weight of our own fears and feelings. To take on the full measure of another person's pain would either desensitize us fully, or send us spiraling into depression. Monsters or madmen, with very little middle ground.
The solution as I see it, in the interest of remaining sane and healthy, is a balance between empathy (NOT sympathy...learn the difference if you're unclear) and self-preservation. This is something I struggle with every day. It's a matter of giving of yourself while maintaining regard for your own well being. There is some degree of sacrifice involved. Empathy, in my opinion, is born of love, and love in any form requires compromise and sacrifice. However, that sacrifice should not be made at the expense of your mental or physical health. Your mind and heart must not be at odds.
This requires further thought on my part. More later.
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3 comments:
I could not agree more, it is impossible to truly know the mind of another. Just as it is truly impossible to know your own mind, let alone communicate that to someone without data loss or confusion. What needs to take place is the connection in the big areas, and the details get a little obscured. For instance, you can connect with someone on political issues, but it is impossible to know what you would think when presented with a infinite variety of options on candiates for an office, or solutions to an issue. The key is to match up on the big ideas and trust that what differences that exist on the small stuff, can be ironed out or just don't really matter. Also, it is necessary to agree on what the big stuff and little stuff are.........You should also not forget the first mistake of the smart person, just because someone does not agree with you on something does not make them wrong or dumb.
Another problem is that many people consider another point of view just long enough to form an opinion on it, and often not a terribly well informed opinion. Communication and understanding truly begin with a desire to understand another person's perspective, even if you totally disagree. Perhaps that is as close as one can come to knowing the mind of another.
Nice dialog.
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